Harry Potter Gone Bad - Part 1: The Evil Weasleys
by Angel Diva
Summary: The Weasleys (Fred and George) have gone insane!!! PG for disturbing elements, some censored words, and gruesome deaths...sort of.


A/N: This is pure weirdness, my friends. It is a tale of horrible happenings and gruesome gore.   
  
Disclaimer: Our so-called HAPPY and ADVENTUROUS Weasley twins belong to J.K. Rowling...who, under no circumstances, had ANYTHING to do with this twisted tale. So don't sue her.  
  
***  
HARRY POTTER...GONE HORRIBLY, HORRIBLY WRONG!!!!!!  
Part One: Fred and George Weasly...the Double Duo of Death (DUN DUN DUNNNN!!!!!!)  
***  
  
We'd like to THINK that Gred and Forge are happy, carefree, and innocent, do we not? Yes, my friends...yes we do. However, they always have a couple *tricks* up their sleeves (and we don't just mean Canary Creams and firecracker gags). Yes, my friends...Fred and George did something very, very, VERY horrible indeed, which has lead to their utmost insanity.  
  
It was a happy day in the Gryffindor common room....  
  
Fred: Woah, George, check out this new trick I invented!!  
  
George: What is it, jolly ol' chap? [I know, I know...Diva doesn't know proper usage of British slang.]  
  
Fred: Get this...it's a substance I like to call "Foogi-Dootle."   
  
George: What the *[CENSORED]* ??????  
  
Fred: Foogi-Dootle! It's...it's...well, I don't really know WHAT it is yet. Maybe we could get a guinea pig and try it out, eh?  
  
George: Well aren't YOU so smart, don't even know what it is! I mean...what if we *kill* the poor thing?  
  
Fred: Oh well. That is what a guinea pig is FOR.   
  
George: You heartless fiend!   
  
Percy: I fell in love with a guinea pig once...  
  
George: Umm...ok...?  
  
Percy: Her name was Ethel.  
  
Fred: Yeah ok sure whatever okie doke buh-bye, Perc!  
  
Percy: Oh, Ethel...where art thou?  
  
George: Wait 'till Penelope gets wind of that, huh?  
  
Fred: Slam the door in his face.  
  
George: Check. *bang!*  
  
Fred: Anyhow...where were we?  
  
George: Ah, yes...your Foogi-Dootle!!  
  
Fred: Where can we get a guinea pig?  
  
George: I bet Snape keeps a load of 'em...someplace.  
  
Fred: Let's use the Marauder's Map.  
  
George: But did'nt we give it to Harry in the 3rd Book?  
  
Fred: Oh right. *yelling* Oi, Harry! Can we have da map back?  
  
Harry: Ok. *gives them the map*  
  
Fred: Crisis solved. But...do we really need to try it on a guinea pig? What about Ron?   
  
George: Nah, that'll take all the fun out of it. What'll mum say when we send home the remains of Ron in a shoebox?  
  
Fred: I don't really want to find out. Anyway... *they search the map*  
  
George: Wait...I don't think they put pigs on the Marauder's Map.  
  
Fred: Sure they do. Look! *points at little green writing that says SLIMY GUINEA PIG*  
  
George: Perfect! Wowzers...that's incredible! Our compliments to MWPP. [we know that's a ff.net term, but what they hey]   
  
Fred: Let's go. *they follow the map through the castle until they find where the guinea pig is marked...behind a closed door*  
  
George: On the count of three...we open the door and throw the Foogi-Dootle all over it, got it?  
  
Fred: Ok.   
  
George: One...two...three!   
  
The fated twins opened the door and cast the Foogi-Dootle in the room...only to find...  
  
Fred: SNAPE?!?!?!  
  
George: Uh-oh...we're in trouble now!  
  
But Snape did'nt answer. He was too busy...  
  
Fred: HE'S TURNING INTO A BLIMP!!!  
  
Our poor Snapey-poo was rapidly filling up with air, and about to burst at the seams.  
  
George: BLIMEY, HE'S GOING TO BLOW!!!  
  
BOOM! SLAMMMM...POP-POP GA-BOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Fred: Nobody liked him, anyway.  
  
George: This is a load 'o fun! Let's go find someone else to kill!  
  
Fred: Ok!  
  
It was at this moment when Fred and George became convicted serial killers...they had turned to a life of crime.  
  
And that concludes our rather depressing story...a tale of guinea pigs, Foogi-Dootle, and three years in which Fred and George spent in Azkaban.  
  
DEE END!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Omg...*Angel turns to Diva* Did we just write that?  
  
Diva: Afraid so.  
  
Angel: How depressing! Poor Georgie...  
  
Diva: *looks at reader out of the computer screen* Please pardon my insanity...and Angel's.  



End file.
